


False Prophets

by popcultbby10



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 80s AU, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, F/M, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Reader is rich, References to Drugs, References to God(s), Series, but like televangist, cult kinda gig, kylo is rich, poe is hot cop, rey comes later, think casino & scarface, year not specific
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23559061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popcultbby10/pseuds/popcultbby10
Summary: 80s/modern/year unspecified AU. You and kylo are one of the biggest televangelists rn. Kylo goes out to do paid confession services, and handles the tv program, You do the publicity and telephone services. A first class ticket into heaven is only $79.99 or just 4 easy payments of $20.00. With becoming televangelists you’ve helped so many people, and have so many new coats.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	False Prophets

**Author's Note:**

> “fake televangelists” aka you n kylo scam people into making u super rich, based off a tweet i saw about wanting to be televangelist scammer I am two baja blasts deep and dont take this serious be nice. for fun from my disaster brain

A sickly sweet warm feeling washed over my body, as the music pulsed around the room. Letting my body flow and sway in this trance, the high I was feeling was heaven. The plush pink carpet felt so soft like a cloud and gold accents in the room shimmered like stars. Closing my eyes I thought to myself, “how could life be better than this?”

The door pushed open slowly with a creaking sound that soured the song playing. A dark voice followed, “You’d better get” emphasis on  **_get_ ** . His face inching closer to my neck as his voice went down to a whisper against my skin.

**** “You’d better get yourself ready darling we have an appearance today.” 

I shifted to face him, “What do you mean? We…” I thought today was for resting, a break from a week's hard work. 

“God doesn’t take days off…” his voice trailing as I looked into his eyes. “...plus they’ll be donating $10 per person and have given the deposit of $500” 

Sobering up I looked back, staring up with a mean look. “Only $500?” pause “for the  **_both_ ** of us?” voice rising as I reached the end of my sentence.

“Let- let me go.” I pushed him out and away from me, walking out of the room I practically yelled,  **_“$500 for both of us! Are you out of you’re fucking mind Ren?_ ** I told you it's $1,000 for **_both of us!”_ ** I slammed different closets and cupboards walking through the hallway into the bedroom. 

“I want to scream” I thought, actually maybe I will. I stopped and yelled **_“You’re so stupid! This is why I should just handle the fucking money! I swear you always fuck it up!”_ **

My face felt warm, the high was definitely gone. Before I even got to finish my next thought- 

“Darling, just get **_fuckin ready please_ ** , and stop slamming shit.” his voice was calm and low, no distinct expression but from his tone I knew he was annoyed. 

\---

Admiring the hills that surrounded us as we drove, the sun felt like a delight. Despite his attitude this morning, Ren had apologized. Before leaving he brought out a big box complete with a black bow. 

Removing the bow and lid, I looked inside, a brand new fur, in gorgeous honey brown. 

“You really know a way to a lady’s heart,'' I whispered as my eyes locked with his. 

I glanced over at Ren’s attire. Another boring black suit, sure he’s handsome but all this money? And you only wear black suits, it just doesn’t make sense to me. Leaving the maze of hills, the city started to fill out. Signs promoting plastic surgery, anti drugs, prescribed drugs, and churches bombarded you, and then…  _ Then  _ right in the center a big billboard with boring Ren and beautiful me on it. 

“You love god, don't you want to cleanse your soul and obtain a first class ticket to heaven?” In a way our sign was true, same with our promise. Except we were playing god, dressed in jewels and fur. Ren and I **_are gods_ ** to these people.

**Author's Note:**

> if u read it all and enjoyed, thank u :) only my second try at fanfic. gonna be a series  
> cashapp is $popcultbby for donations


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